The birth of a baby, the first day of school, the first day of college, the first job, the first kiss, the marriage – all beginnings, best cherished in their truest form. They are perfect in their caged moment, and with time, the excitement only ebbs away, leaving an imperfect world with you.
I wondered if I was defying the law of nature as I lifted by bags and left the house. I did not have to tiptoe; Pooja had decided not to come back home after a late night party. Yet again!
She had found another life without me. So must I.
It was still dark, just like my life. The winter sun would not be out for another hour or so, making the cab ride short and quick, leaving enough time for me to sit on the platform and reminisce my failures some more. I had made some extremely wrong beginnings in my life – a career I did not enjoy and a marriage failed to find love. Was it the beginnings that had failed me, or did I fail those beginnings. I could not decide. Either way, my life would never be the same again. Some wrong beginnings compromise the quality of life forever. I concluded.
The first rays of amber-coloured sun interrupted my thoughts. A beautiful dawn had rocked the world into motion. I envied the sun for its resilience; no matter how dark or long the night is, it comes back the next morning, without losing its value or vigour. It provides a meaningful beginning that moves the entire world, day after day. I guess it can for it is an unlimited source of energy. I wished I could have some of that energy to make a fresh new beginning, without the pain of my past failures. What stopped me, I wondered.
I wrote all the painful memories from the past down on a piece of paper. When the train arrived, I boarded it clutching the crumbled paper in my hand.
A new city was waiting for me, with a career option I had always dreamed of. Standing at the door, I waited for the train to pick up speed. Then, I looked at my hand that held two symbols of my miserable life – my past failures written down on paper, and the wedding ring. My past must not compromise the quality of my future; I reminded myself. I took out the diamond ring, put it inside the paper and squeezed the paper into a ball, as small as I could. With all the energy I had, I threw that miserable ball away from my life, burying the painful memories back into the city where they belonged.
I looked at the sun, and thanked it… for showing me the path to a new dawn!